NINE days overdue!

So yes, little Pot is currently 9 days overdue and until today I'd have said showing no signs of coming any time soon.
We went to the midwife on Tuesday who did a sweep, which made me a bit achy but didn't bring anything more substantial on. T from NCT said after hers she had a show the next morning, but nothing since. She's being induced on Tuesday - really hope we get to go first! M/w said everything was moving along nicely, that the effacing is happening and I was 2cm dilated! Which was very promising and most unexpected.
So yes, just had a bit of a dull week waiting for Pot to show some signs of doing something. I've been quite achy all day today, with fairly regular (not time regular, just several times) cramping and aches, and my lower back has been very sore. And then just now (10.20pm) I had a show! Wasn't really what I was expecting - forgive the detail, but was expecting some blood, but there wasn't any. It was definitely something though, and it's just very reassuring to know things are happening, even if it's going a little slower than expected.
We have a hospital appointment at 12.30 tomorrow to have another sweep and talk induction, so who knows - if I've had the show then I don't know what they do, guess we'll find out. I am going to look on some websites to see what other people have had done.
So feeling quite excited that finally things seem to be happening, even though I know it could still be days away. Feel oddly proud that my unborn child seems to know what it's doing, even if I don't!
Here's hoping the waters breaking aren't far behind...

4 days and counting...

Yes, Pot is 4 days late so far and not really showing any signs of moving anywhere at all! Oh well - we are having a lovely week regardless, and am trying to look on this as bonus Us time, rather than being late. So - the due date itself passed without incident and was very calm and relaxed. On Wednesday i was feeling a little cabin-feverish so we drove to Ickworth house in the afternoon and went for a lovely walk around the grounds. Weather wasn't great, but we walked about 3-4 miles or so, which was great. Got lots of nice photos too!
On Thursday the weather was fantastic so we decided to drive to the beach at Walton on the Naze. Took about an hour and a half to get there but we had lunch and wandered a lot, and again walked about 3-4 miles or so. Then went for a curry at the pub with P&T, but that had no effect on Pot either.
Yesterday was a bit weird - I got all upset and emotional in the morning because we had a stupid argument over misunderstandings, and it left me feeling a bit odd all day. Still, I went out in the afternoon to meet the NCT girls for coffee and chocolate cake and a good natter, and that was really nice. Charlotte and I then had a wander around a couple of crafty type kids' shops in Halstead and I bought Pot a Cheeky Chops bib and a toy... very cute. Came home and N went to pub with P, and then we had a lovely bbq. Felt much better. Was feeling extremely despondent a lot of yesterday - part of me was hoping that was the hormonal weirdness signifying the start of labour, but don't think it was somehow!
Today's been great too - firstly, Nichola and Ben had their baby! A boy, called Samuel William Jack. We don't have photos or details yet, but so exciting that the first of the babies has arrived. I reckon Tori will be next, but could even be Charlotte. I would love it to be me, as am starting to feel very ready now, but all in good time. It'll be sometime in the next 9 days anyway, so am not panicking. Just would prefer it to happen naturally.
So anyway, after that we went to the garden centre and got a new eucalyptus, 2 x blackberry plants and a fig. Came back, ripped up the massive plant over the side of the shed, had a tactical dash to Focus, then sanded, primed and painted the front of the shed! It's green now - looks very cool, though needs more paint, and we'll do the planting tomorrow. All very productive. Was feeling incredibly energetic all day, but feel shattered now so have just had a bath and am now feeling all relaxed and cosy.
Time for bed, or some games before bed. Feeling much better than yesterday, and looking forward to finishing the painting tomorrow.

The day today

Well well well. It's here - 16th September. And unsurprisingly, no baby just yet. I always said it would be late. Admittedly, it's only the morning and things could start at any time, but I have a very strong feeling that nothing is going to happen yet. It's weird though, this date has been at the forefront of my mind since January. 40 weeks I have had this baby - wow. It's a long time. And soon it'll be out in the big wide world and it will be entirely down to N and me to protect it and look after it - I hope we do a good job! It's a scary prospect. But an amazingly exciting and inconceivable once as well. Possibly a poor choice of words...

Very excited for all the NCT girls - wonder who will go first? For the record I think it'll be T, then N, then me, C, J and other C - though other C could be quite early I think, and J could be pretty late. Who knows. Just so exciting, and lovely to have all these new friends going through the same thing at the same time. It'll be brilliant when we can all compare notes...

Anyway this is a short entry, just really to mark the occasion, since I don't think anything is going to happen. Do you think if I say that enough, it'll happen just to prove me wrong?! Nah...

Still in one piece...

Trying to be better at this blogging lark, so a more timely update this time around. Pot is still firmly in place and personally I don't think it's moving for well over a week, but who knows - things could change any minute and I could end up in labour later today! I don't think I will though. Famous last words...

So what have we been up to, other than just getting bigger and heavier? Well, this weekend we went to Mark and Sandra's wedding at Mark's place in Dorset, which was good fun. Saw loads of friends which was lovely, including L & S and Miri, who was a model of good behaviour. Pot, take note please! We stayed at Claire and Neil's on Friday and Saturday nights, which was great as it meant I got a chance to catch up with Claire, which doesn't happen too often. She gave us some Baby Play toys from Mamas and Papas - so cute! And my other orders have arrived, so we have the Baby Bjorn, and the rocker chair... I think we're all set in terms of stuff, just need the mental preparation now! Hmmm - not so easy!

Last night all the NCT lot came over for the bra and beer night, which was really good fun, apart from slight embarrassment of bra fitting, but we all bit the bullet and took the attitude that we're all going to go through much more embarrassing things over the next few weeks so might as well get used to it! Bought a few things, so feeling more prepared. Really nice to be getting on so well with everyone from NCT, we are starting to feel like friends now I think, which is really nice. I think N really enjoyed his boys' night out too, as he doesn't get a chance to go out without me very often and it's probably quite a nice thing! Plus they're all going through the same thing, like me and the girls, so it's really nice for him to be making those friends. Maybe they'll all start meeting up to go and watch Andy play footy! Who knows... they're a really nice bunch though, and it's great to feel I'm going to have friends within half an hour who are all going through the same thing as us.

Today is our 2 year anniversary - hurray! Had a lovely day - apart from being really tired, which is thanks to spending all day tidying yesterday, and then having a late night. But started off with pressies this morning - Pot gave us a card! And a book of PC fairy tales, which is very funny. Then Nick got me some lovely perfume (Chance, Chanel), an audiobook CD of No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, and a really good book on watercolour painting, which is just about the right level for me - i.e. very basic! So have spent the last couple of hours painting, which was really fun and relaxing. Paul's in doing some decorating as well, so it's nice to know things are getting done. Not sure when we'll get around to doing the flat, but hey, all in good time.

In terms of how I'm feeling, generally I'm OK apart from being a bit tired today. My feet really hurt if I stand up for very long, and my lower back is starting to hurt more too. The bump is definitely feeling heavier, and the stretch marks are rather unpleasant, though not as bad as some I've seen. Don't like them though - oh well, they'll fade. On the whole in good spirits, and hoping to have a nice easy week, as I don't really feel like doing a lot. Maybe will perk up once I've had more sleep. We shall see!

Right, off to do more useless and relaxing things. More updates as and when any news happens.

Time flies

I can't believe it's been 4 weeks since I last blogged. Time really is going fast - the due date is 2 weeks tomorrow, amazingly. Very much hoping Pot stays put until the due date, or at least very close to it - I have NCT girlie lunch on Wednesday plus midwife, we have Marky and Sandra's wedding on Saturday, and the whole NCT crown coming over on Monday for bra and beer night, so really don't want it before then. Plus it's our anniversary next Tuesday... must get N something!

So, what have we been up to. Well, firstly there were all the NCT and NHS antenatal classes. Loved the NCT ones. Our instructor, Ruth was a slightly hippy-ish type, but was quite funny and very down to earth, and obviously knows her stuff. It was really detailed, and helped us work out what we want to happen at the birth (obviously we know it can all change, so it's more a wishlist than anything else. Hope the birth pool is free when we arrive!) And the people were lovely too - have made good friends we think. Tori and Ian live about 20 mins away and are really nice - I went for lunch with Tori a couple of weeks ago, and N and I went for dinner with them both last night in Great Yeldham, which was great fun, and we didn't get home until after midnight - positively rebellious of us! So they're nice, and all the others are lovely as well, so hopefully once we've all met for lunch on Wednesday, and again the following Monday, we will all become reasonably good friends. Must try to meet up with some people from work, especially James, as he's expecting just 3 weeks after us, so would be nice to meet Mel. Anyway, I digress...
The NHS classes were not so great in terms of meeting people, though everyone seemed nice enough - but it was great to go through the specifics for the hospital we'll be at, and to get to know a couple of the midwives better, and also just to hear it all again to remind us of what to do when. Very handy, and only 3 evening sessions. All done now, we must be qualified!

Other than that - well, when Nick's mum and dad came to stay Nick and his dad put the laminate flooring in the nursery which is cool. Just waiting for Paul now to come and finish it off with the woodwork painting. The kitchen is done from CK's perspective, though we still have some painting etc to do. We went swimming a couple of weeks ago which was nice, though because the pool in Haverhill is closed at the moment we had to go to Bury, which is a lovely pool but a long way to go for an hour's swim. Also went to see Dark Knight aa the cinema and went for dinner afterwards which was lovely. Good film. And today we went to Linton Zoo! It was rather a last minute idea of Nick's when we woke up this morning, but it was gorgeously sunny and was great fun. Nice little place, not massive, but some good animals - lots of birds and monkeys and things, plus lions, leopards, tigers, snow leopard, zebras, giant tortoises, tapirs and so on. Got some fab photos too.So that was fun. Will probably have a relatively relaxed rest of the day - maybe put up the bedrooms shelf but other than that don't plan to do a lot.

And then there is the lovely Pot. Had 36 week appointment on Sunday 24th, (the day of our biig bbq, which was also brilliant fun!) Apparently Pot's in just the right position, and 4 5ths engaged - I thought that meant almost entirely, but it means 1 5th of the head is in the pelvis adn 4 5ths is still outside, but it's going the right way and hopefully when I have the next one on Wednesday s/he'll move into the right place.

It's funny at the moment - I still can't really believe that we're really having a baby, that this is it, forever. We can't wait, yet I think we're both nervous. Perfectly natural, of course, but still. The birth is a scary prospect - my friend Lucy just had her baby and had a horrendous time of it, and Helen had hers too and was fine. You just don't know how it'll go - I'm trying to stay positive and imagine it all going well. If I can avoid the epidural I'd really like to, but we shall see. We're both having funny, and very vivid dreams at the moment, often about birth. Just hope it all goes OK. Can't wait to find out whether POt is a boy or a girl... and then there are the names...! All very exciting.

Anyway I have rambled on long enough for now. I'll try to write more before the baby comes, but who knows. I must try to do some writing as well - I've done nothing on it so far. But hey - when I'm ready, it'll still be there.

So - here's to labour being bearable, and to both Pot and me coming out of it pretty unscathed.

More soon...

Maternity Heaven

Well what a change. Maternity leave really is quite wonderful - and it's such a lovely luxury having N at home with me too. It's been brilliant so far. I'm not fooling myself too much, I know that later on I'll be having to take it easier as Pot gets bigger and more unwieldy, but for the moment it's at that nice size where yes, it's big, but it's not interfering with sleep or movement particuarly. My hips are aching a bit and my feet get sore and achy very easily, but generally speaking it's more comfy than I was anticipating.

Leaving work qas quite weird - the last few days were manic, and went more quickly than I'd thought they would. I got lots of flowers from suppliers, Warner were really lovely and got me a room thermometer, grobag, cuddle robes, a toy and a really cool jungle themed baby gym mat, exactly the one I wanted! Work really came through as well and got me babygros and £100 of JL vouchers. People wrote lovely things in the card too - I was really touched.

And then yes - freedom! Saturday we did the JL nursery advice service tour, which I would heartily recommend. Really, really useful, informative, and not really a pushy sales pitch either. We got a lovely moses basket with a stand, a fab maternity pillow for me, and a couple of other bits and bobs, so the vouchers didn't last long! Bought some more maternity clothes in Gap too, bought some kitchen things in Lakeland plus more kitchen stuff from JL. The kitchen is looking fantastic, just can't wait to get the flooring in and everything finished with the downstairs loo as well.

Sunday I drove down to see L&S and Miri - she's adorable! Definitely has Liz's eyes and mouth, and she was really well behaved. Then went over to see Nicky and Sam as he's been taken to hospital on Thursday with suspected meningitis or encephalitis, but after lots of tests including CT scan and a horrible sounding lumbar puncture, he was given the all clear and they reckon he just bumped his head really hard in the night and had concussion. Poor thing - and poor Nicky, she was so worried. Had a nice afternoon with them and got home about 9.

Monday was lovely nothaving to get up for work - we had a long, lazy breakfast of fresh coffee and croissants over the crossword, then did some general housey stuff, laundry etc. N went off flying, stopped off at Southend - I sorted stuff in the nursery, did more laundry and washing up, baked some lovely apple and cinnamon buns, and other such domesticated things. Lovely stuff - did lots of price comparing between JL and Kiddicare and decided it was definitely worthwhile going.

Tuesday we went to Kiddicare! lovely poached eggs to start the day, then up to Peterborough, only took just over an hour which was brilliant, makes it very easy. We got EVERYTHING! Well, not quite everything, but we got pram, car seat, all the breastfeeding equipment we could possibly need, cellular blankets, a toy... loads. Plus a couple of freebie things (thermometer set, first aid kit) Nearly coulnd't get the pram as they couldn't find it in the warehouse, but they did eventually so now it's all in Pot's room. It made it all very real wandering around - N got quite emotional at one point and nearly set me off. It would seem that it's quite real, we honestly are having a baby... yikes! But we are so, so excited about meeting Pot. 6 weeks today is the due date - 34 weeks pregnant. Gosh. Anyone would think we have a clue about what we're doing!! Well maybe not, but we're both very happy and relaxed, and life feels extremely good at the moment. Long may it continue - hang on in there Pot, no early arrivals please - lots still to do!

One week to go...

Been a while - time has been going pretty quickly of late, which is great. I only have one more week of work, thankfully - the end can't come fast enough. Not really interested in it anymore, just want to be at home now getting ready for Pot's arrival. Very excited. We're still torn between names - well, I'm torn, I think N is more convinced by one than the other, but I'm starting to prefer the other name - so we shall see. Maybe we'll just know when we meet him or her. Maybe it'll be a girl anyway and then it's not such a problem, as I think we're pretty much set on the girl name, though not necessarily the middle name. We shall see.

Things at work are pretty rubbish but with only one week to go I can't really complain. Also have lots of meetings next week so that should make the time go faster. It's weird - I'm really looking forward to meeting the baby, but that's not what I'm impatient about - it's purely work. Am then really, really looking forward to just being at home and having time to do things, sorting out the nursery, getting things for Pot, enjoying the new kitchen (flooring delayed by 5 weeks though so just hoping it goes in before Pot arrives!) and relaxing. Hopefully will get to do some writing too - really need to get on with that, I have neglected it for over a year now and it's not going to write itself, sadly. We shall see - maybe I'll get my study all nice and tidy and then have a stab at it again. Hopefully once I get on and start, it'll all come back pretty quickly.

Feeling OK at the moment though get tired quite suddetly - am feeling quite stretched some days, and Pot can take me by surprise sometimes with a sharp jab in the ribs - can actually be quite painful. It's lovely to feel him / her moving around a lot, and wouldn't swap that for added comfort! Just would be nicer if I could enjoy it at home! Still - not long to go.
First NCT is tomorrow - quite looking forward to it. Hope it's interesting and useful - slightly nervous that it won't tell us anything we don't already know - but we shall see. Maybe we'll meet some nice people - who knows.

Right - work time. Joy!

Amazing!

L&S just had their baby! A girl, called Miriam! So exciting - makes me more convinced than ever that Pot is a boy. I keep crying. So happy!

Touched by the hand of celebrity

Well, Pot HAS had an exciting couple of weeks! Not that s/he is aware of that fact at all, but I certainly am.
Firstly there were the back to back premieres of Hancock, where we got within 2 feet of Will Smith, and the Prince Caspian at the O2 (UK's biggest ever premiere with 10,000 people in the arena!) Both enjoyable films, was exhausted the next day after 2 nights in London, but N stayed too both nights which was nice. Then this week we had Disney Q4 yesterday with very swanky dinner at exclusive Hakkassan restaurant, which was fun. And today was 2E's Q4. Hosted by Danny Wallace (who I later stood next to at the bar but didn't get a chance to speak to) and special guest appearances from: Sir David Attenborough, Richard Hammond, Flavia and Kelly Brook, Davina Mccall, Armstrong and Miller, "Keith Lemon" (that Lee guy who did Bo Selecta) and ROb Brydon - could have been more but I forget!
So at the interval we were introduced to Davina, who promptly exclaimed delightedly about Pot, and proceeded to hold my hand and touch the bump and tell me all about birth and labour and how to get through it! She was lovely, if a little mad and overly tactile, but really sweet. Told me to a) concentrate on being brave for someone else,i.e N, or Pot, and really try to focus on that, b) to try to maintain a sense of humour and be funny, as there are a lot of "amusing" things that happen in labour, and c)when the first symptoms come on, to take a couple of paracetamol and go straight to bed and sleep for as long as I can! One or two other more "personal" tips which I have no intention of writing on here, but really was quite an experience. She also took Dave Rimmer's wife's number and called her to wish her luck with the twins! Quite some character. Then we met Flavia and Kelly Brook, neither of whom I had the slightest interest in, but they seemed really nice. Also then met Richard Hammond and asked why he hated Peugeot 308s so much - he said they were too smug! So all in all a celebrity infused day - really good fun.
Only one more day of work and then the weekend, off to Manchester to see Tim and Janine and the kids which should be a laugh. Working from home MOnday. 4 weeks tomorrow until I leave work - hurray!
Shattered now - night night!

25 weeks, 23 centimetres

Had 25 week midwife appt this morning and all seemed to go well. Blood pressure seems to have dropped a tiny bit but she didn't even comment on that so presume it's fine. She measured Pot's bump and it was 23cm - they do it vertically, from just above to just below. I didn't realise that before, I hadn't been sure how they would measure. But now I know! It's just a tiny bit below the middle of the average section of where it should be at this stage, which I was very pleased about. Obviously all the chocolate hasn't had too big an impact!

Everything else is poddling along - L has left work now and sounds blissfully happy - I can't wait until that's us! Won't be too long I know, 8 weeks today, but does feel like a long time. Still, time seems to be going ridiculously fast at the moment so really should just relax and enjoy it all and no start wishing my life away.

We get our new car tomorrow so that should be fun. Have to dig out all the documentation so this will be a short post - for me, anyway.

Feeling ridiculously excited about Pot...

Bigger and Better!

The bump is now a good size - recognisable as a pregnant bump as opposed to a too-much-cake-and-pie type bump. Can feel lots of wriggling and kicking, and we can both see the bump moving now when Pot kicks. Allegedly N might be able to hear a heartbeat any time from now on, though nothing yet - only really tried a couple of times though.
Bank holiday was productive - we had the "paternal" side of the family to stay, and N and his brother and dad did the whole floor of the flat which looks fantastic. His mum and I had a much more relaxing time of it, shopping, reading, chatting, baking cakes, lazing about, watching films - lovely. Nice short week at work too, and had kitchen survey on Tuesday. Price seems to have gone up a lot, which is annoying as we haven't really changed anything from our original spec, so I don't know where the extra £4K has come from! N investigates...
Meanwhile, I only have 9 weeks more of work to go! Am very excited about finishing. L finished on Friday so will miss the e-mailing, but am sure she'll keep me posted. Spider is due in just 6 weeks - unbelievable! Strange how time for her seems to have gone so fast and yet for me it feels like it's inching past. Then again, nearly at 25 weeks, so the appointments get a lot more regular from here on in, which I think is quite reassuring. I think it's 25 weeks, 28 weeks and then every 2 weeks after that. Have registered on a local NCT course so that should be quite fun - not looking forward to the videos, but will be nice to meet new people and learn a bit more about Pot. Bit nervous about the actual birth bit, but will all be worth it when we get to bring little Pot home... just amazing.
Anyway, have a friend from my Disney days coming over for lunch so had better go and tidy the place up a bit. That whole nesting instinct thing isn't really kicking in, though I would like to make it a lot tidier and am getting more annoyed with mess generally. Shame I can't be bothered to do anything about it really eh?!
More soon

Movement

Well finally - Pot kicked hard enough for N to feel it too last night! Only once, which was a bit disppointing - it keeps going quiet as soon as N puts his hand on my stomach, contrary little beast.
Anyway - that's the update really, but 8th May - thought it should be recorded.

20 weeks and counting

All still fine for the moment. Had 20 week scan on Tuesday this week. After trauma of getting there (took me 55 mins to do 35 min drive!), N's train broke down AND he got stuck in same traffic I did - all very stressy - scan all went fine! Pot was so cute - wriggly but all curled up, saw spine and ribs and eyes and yawns and so on - really sweet, and lovely to see s/he again. We were both less emotional about seeing it than previous times, mainly I think because of the stress of getting there, but also probably because we were more confident everything was OK because of the amnio. Though to be honest I feel guilty even saying we felt confident - I don't want to take anything for granted or get complacent about any of it.

We have planned a lovely weekend away for my birthday - we're off to Guernsey! Neither of us has been before, and we have a nice hotel with a 4 poster bed which should be quite fun. Just hope it is lovely and relaxing and a nice last break for both of us before I'm too big to want to take trips anywhere!

Bump has really started to emerge properly this week - really pleased it's finally there, I was getting a bit worried! Everyone says I should make the most of it while it's still small, but we're both so excited about it all that it's hard not to be impatient. It could still quite easily be mistaken for just one too many pies (or 100 anyway!) but shouldn't be long before it's really, properly big!

Have decided I need to blog a bit more so that I have a better record of things that Pot did while still pre- the big wide world. List below so far... Also want to keep better track of how I feel as I go along. Maybe if we're lucky enough to have a Pot number 2 some day ( or a Pan, as I call it!) then it will be good to be able to monitor any major differences.

First 3 months - sore boobs, queasy afternoons and when hungry, went off lamb and the smell of steak, went off all alcohol completely, became chocolate fiend, craved pizza, pasta, baked potatoes, milk, chocolate - nothing too weird or wonderful though! And so, so tired... mid afternoon was the worst, which fortunately seems to have worn off for the most part. Now it's more just change of routine, and walking around a lot, that really tires me out. Was in London twice this week and was just so tired by Friday - slept like a log last night but woke up nice and refreshed just before 8 - longest I've slept in weeks I think!

Back is a bit achy at the moment and lower abdomen aches and pulls a bit. Can feel POt moving around from time to time, but not as strongly as I was hoping to. Once in a while, I think I can feel it moving with my hands. N can't feel anything yet - I hope he doesn't feel too left out, it shouldn't be long! Still feeling quite tired, so probably early nights and not too much walking around are the best ideas.

So - what adventures has Pot had so far that he or she is completely unaware of...

- The Other Boleyn Girl premiere
- weekend away in Devon
- set visit to Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (met Harry and Ron!)
- Iron Man premiere
- Flying twice with N
- and soon to be holiday to Guernsey

Pot liked the Iron Man premiere, kicked me loads - probably down to the deep bass and very, very loud soundtrack! But hopefully nothing too traumatic.

Anyway, BBQ tonight so must go and make salad to assuage meat-guilt!
More soon

Getting bigger

All is well, and has been since the last post, thankfully. Pot seems well - not that I can really tell. All the websites and forums say I should be feeling huge amounts of kicking and wriggling, possibly enough to keep me awake. No chance of that - I can hardly feel it moving, though when I do and it's quite a definite feeling, it's really rather wonderful. Nothing from the outside yet, but am only just 19 weeks and so expecting not to feel anything for another couple of weeks. Hope that N gets to feel it moving before too long though, I feel a bit like I'm hogging it all!! Not really much I can do about that, obviously.

Got a bit tearful last night, and still not quite sure why. Hormones, I'm sure, come into it somewhere. But I was just reading the Miriam Stoppard book on pregnancy and there was this huge long list of things I shouldn't be eating, and although I knew logically and rationally it was a load of rubbish, that no-one is so saintly that they never have anything on that list, it really upset me and made me feel like I have already ruined Pot's best chances in life because I didn't have the will power to say no to chocolate. Hmmm. I know that's not true but honestly, these books and articles really do make you feel bad. Same with exercise - everything seems to say that if you're not going swimming, to yoga, walking, stretching, etc etc etc then everything's going to be horrendous, the birth will be far worse and the recovery time will treble. Well - now the weather is improving a bit maybe we'll get out for a few more walks. I really should try to go at lunchtimes maybe, get a bit of fresh air and some time away from my desk. We'll see. Am going to look up local pool and see if they do late opening. Like Christmas shopping. Secret swimming... but anyway, have about had my fill of self-righteous yoga-practising, nut-and-seed munching holier-than-thou preachy types. Pot likes chocolate!

I have had a headache for 3 days. Very annoying. Wish it would go away. Maybe I need more sleep. Maybe less. Having lots of water. Hopefully it will go eventually. And my belly button is getting very close to being an outy - quite funny! N is being very sweet and not letting me think I'm all lardy and horrible. He sent me flowers at work today - I nearly cried. Timing was spot on - I felt very grateful and in love.

Went to Harry Potter set visit yesterday which was brilliant fun - Pot must be the youngest baby ever to meet Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint!
I think that's enough for now - Pot is starting to wriggle a bit so must be time for bed! Am loving this - it's so much fun. Can't believe everyone always moans about pregnancy - I'm so happy.

Relief doesn't come close...

Having had the high risk blood test results, the next few days were just a nightmare. We felt like everything was on hold. We knew we wanted to have the amniocentesis, as a) we couldn't bear the uncertainty for 5 months and b) we knew we didn't want to have a DS baby, so we also knew exactly what the consequences of a bad result would be. So by the time Monday rolled around we were really worried. I was very nervous about the procedure. Fortunately they didn't keep us waiting, and the consultant was very calm and reassuring, quite matter of fact, not overly sentimental about it all, just very practical and a very reassuring presence. Heather, who I'd been plaguing with questions all week on the phone, was the midwife in attendance, as well as another midwife whose name I didn't catch.
Pot was wriggling like anything and taking up all the space - it was lovely to see him / her again, and so much bigger than before. It took quite a while for them to find a space big enough to get the needle in. It hurt. Not hugely, but quite a bit. More than anything though I was just incredibly tense. It took a while - Nick said afterwards it looked like they were taking way more than the 20ml needed. But they got a good clean sample so we were able to send it off to the Amnio-PCR lab for fast-track results. I nearly passed out afterwards - mostly because of the relief of it being over I think. Had some iced water and then it was OK.
Nick did a great job of looking after me on Monday and Tuesday - I watched an awful lot of Buffy! But took it all very easy, and fortunately there wasn't a lot of pain which was a relief, as I'd read you can get quite bad cramps and so on for a few days. It was reassuring not having those, so by the time I went back to work on Wednesday I was reasonably confident the process wasn't going to cause a miscarriage. However, every little twinge and cramp and muscle movement sent me into panic, so was quite frequently dashing off to the loo to check everything was OK. Scary time. And the risk period isn't really over yet, so am still taking it very easy and not lifting or pulling or pushing anything at all heavy.
Time really slowed down. We had been told that we were likely to get the results on Thursday so it was hard not to be phone-watching the whole time. SOme of the time I felt excited, glad we would be getting it over and done with. But I was also petrified - what if the results were bad? How would we cope if we had to have a termination? No more Pot... it was hideous. Fortunately the whole human coping mechanism seemed to be kicking in with some force, and made it hard for me to really focus on the negatives too much, or evenhow scared I was. It was a bit like trying to focus on a sunspot - the thoughts just slide off to one side and you can't really dig in and panic. Which was fortunate.

We got the call just before 4pm. Everything was fine.

We will get the full amnio results in a couple of weeks with the full breakdown, but for now we are reassured that Pot tested negative for DS, Edwards and the third one which I can never remember. Which were the ones we were worried about. There is something utterly bleak and terrifying about something being described as "incompatible with life". That's Edward's, apparently. Sounds like some horrible wartime torture euphemism or something.

But anyway - all is fine, and the relief was just immense. I nearly burst into tears - Nick was the same when I called him, even Dad welled up apparently. Such an emotional few days, but now at least we feel we can really get on with enjoying every minute of this incredible process.

Off to Jon and Susie's today so will be seeing Doug and Kim as well, so should be a fun weekend. It could all have been so different - the difference between negative and positive, the difference one little chromosome can make. It's humbling. I have never felt so grateful in my life.

Triple Stressed

Bad pun, sorry.

Had my triple test last week - got the results yesterday to say I am "high risk" at 1:221 chance of the baby being DS. We were pretty upset at the news - the decision is whether or not to have an amniocentesis. The answer - we're going to have the test. I just can't stand the idea of five months of not knowing. Plus, to be brutally honest, we don't want a DS baby. Does that make us bad people? I feel very selfish saying it, but we don't. And we don't think it's very fair to the child either. We want our baby to have every privilege and opportunity in life that we have both had - medical science allows us to know. So we're going to find out. No wonder people say ignorance is bliss. The stats are in our favour - but 1% risk suddenly sounds huge. I don't think it's possible to understand unless it happens to you. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's a horrible, horrible choice. The idea of losing pot... can't bear to think about it. But hopefully what it will confirm is that everything is fine. And hopefully the procedure itself won't cause a miscarriage. That's the worry too.
Too many thoughts - want to just switch off brain. So I think it's bedtime. Numb it with lots of work tomorrow and get the test over and done with next week. Plenty of women have this done and many don't think too hard about it. Maybe we're over-reacting and over-analysing. If I believed in God I'd be praying right now.

Blogging Virgin

Well, this is my first time at this. My husband has suggested it many times, especially as in theory I'm the keener writer of the two of us. Just never got around to it before. However, now we're having a baby it seemed one of those historic occasions - to us at least - that felt worthy of being marked with some sort of virtual-tribute. So here it is. My blog.

The last three months have been the slowest of my life. Waiting to find out whether those Clearblue tests were right, whether the unknowing alcohol at new year had done irreparable damage, whether in fact it was all a figment of my imagination, and whether I would be caught out as the fraud I felt like the second that ultrasound probe kicked into action.

So it came as something of a surpise that there was something there. And not some meaningless shadows that took ages to discern - this was a fully formed very obviously baby-shaped wriggler, and there was my name at the top of the screen. Never has photographic (sorry, ultrasonographic!) evidence felt so important. Never. Wasn't quite prepared for the rush of emotion, the tears, the need to be holding my husband's hand as we saw our baby for the first time. Wow. Absolutely speechless. And incredibly happy. It's quite rare to feel emotion quite so purely. Imagine how we'll feel when it's there in the flesh. Apart from exhausted and in pain, that is!

The next great part of it all is finally being able to tell people. Work's still in the dark but will be telling them this week so really pleased to be nearing that milesteone - will be sooooo much easier at work once everyone knows and I can stop trying to hide my ever expanding tummy, boobs and appetite! Hopefully Tuesday at the latest - depends on when my boss is around to tell really.

Anyway, I think that's quite a long ramble for my first venture - I'll keep it to this for now or I'll bore myself stupid when I read back over it. I wonder what will prompt the next entry...